anxiety, baby and toddler, bad week, baking, biscuits, blw, Bollywood, camping, cooking, CPTSD, diy, mental illness, nightdress, Nightie, onesie, pinafore, pintrest, post natal anxiety, pre natal anxiety, ptsd, reading, Saree, Sari, Sewing, sewing novice, toddler activities, university, winter

Week 10 Toddler Pinafore 

Keeping it simple this week. I’ve just spent a few days finishing a Uni assignment on a particularly difficult topic plus there has been loads going on at home, so, here is something I did outside of my head.

It’s part of an idea I had for what to dress bub in overnight while we are camping as she WILL NOT stay under the covers and I have no idea what the weather will be on the East Coast in September.

I wanted it to be layers and comfortable and warm without screaming “I’m pyjamas” and something she can keep wearing as she gets bigger.

Quite a bit of thought and research went into this over the last few weeks.

I started trying to find out the best kind of camp blanket for warmth. It’s woollen, of course. But I have not the time nor the money to knit her a completely woollen outfit. Plus the itch factor of most wool fabrics ruled that out.

Next on the list was fleece (or as I know it polar fleece).

This was kind of perfect.

I think polar fleece is made out if recycled plastic- so that’s a bonus (And I’m not ready to be disabused of that notion yet, thank you, I can’t afford to be right now)

 In addition part of a bundle of second hand clothes we received recently was a fleece Kathmandu jacket for bub in a beautiful teal green.

So with that in mind as a top layer, and a simple cheap cotton onesie and the bottom layer, the middle two are going to be this pinafore and a pair of loose pants.

I ordered the fabric in a Lincraft sale two weeks ago and got beautiful microfleece for $4 a meter. 

I was going to wait for all the fabric to arrive but the navy blue was sitting there all washed and ready and I really needed to do something other than uni work so here we are.

I based it roughly on this pin, which is a so simple, pretty toddler/little girls dress.

Click for link

But my printer wouldn’t print the pattern so I traced one of her old pinafores on to baking paper 

*NB making an actual pattern is highly recommend – the finished product is so much better plus I felt like I was doing it ‘properly’

I hope you can see the pencil- one line was for front, the other for the back

So, I traced and cut and pinned and even stay stay stitched, then zig zagged over the top so it all looked right.

I also hemmed around the neck and arm holes and did a bit of notched cutting (look at fourth image from last to see what i mean)(Oh yes, I have all the lingo down now)

I then used the buttonhole attachment on my sewing machine (which I adore). Every other buttonhole I’ve done has been by hand. Pah! say I to buttonholes taking an hour. Mine took about twenty minutes all up. 

In addition I worked out this rather cool way of keeping buttons handy while you are sewing them on – 

so they don’t wander off and disappear in your sewing table-which I’m sure looks just like mine…doesnt it?

Anyway there you go. Part one of bub sleep system done.

Not that she’d try it on for photos, so you’ll have to make do with regulation “on a white surface” ones.

Parts I’m most proud of? The strap ends and buttons. Also the idea of the drawstring so it won’t ride up. I’m going to put them in the pant cuffs too. That way they can be loose comfy daywear or snuggly nightwear that keeps out cold air.

There will definately be more pictures when I do the pants. 

In the meantime I’m just proud I made something properly- I even changed the bobbin thread.

NB Please excuse the slightly formal academic language- think I’m still in assignment mode.

Just quickly, because I took about forty five minuites to get right-ish, I also wore my first Sari this week thanks to this pin. What do you think?

anxiety, baby and toddler, bad week, baking, biscuits, Bollywood, calm for baby, carers, CPTSD, diy, mental illness, mindfulness, post natal anxiety, pre natal anxiety, ptsd, quotes, reading, stress, understanding, winter

Week 9 The Monsters in our Heads

I want to curl up and watch “2 Penttutikal” but this blog keeps snapping at the back of my mind like my childhood Australian terrier and our postman (yup- my dog used to actually chase (And bite) the postman)

I have (amongst other things) PTSD. That is one of the few boxes I’ve been put in that made sense. 

Big M my its-so-bloody-complicated-and-not-for-this-post is my Carer.

If we didn’t have kids, people might see things differently.

If I had physical therapy, was in a wheel chair or had a cast, people might see things differently.

If I was vomiting from radiation or even just had a run of nasty virus'(knock on all wooden objects within sight) people might see things differently –less likely in this medicate and get on with it world but still…

If every day Big M got up and went to someone else’s house dressed in a snazzy polo shirt with a logo, while a different person in said snazzy polo shirt came here, people might see things differently.

Just look at those snazzy button up shirts (nothing against outside care at all- people who do this as a job ROCK)

As it is we are two stay at home parents ( to most)

To some : I’m not doing brilliantly, he’s my Carer but – so?

 To very few we are both coping – Big M with a 18/7 job and I with being a full time Mum with PTSD, ANA, GAD and BPD (plus even more abbreviations irrelivant to this post).

These people are few and far between (And much appreciated)

On a bad day Big M isn’t even one of them.

On a bad day caring for me isn’t a job or responsibility – it’s a hinderence.

On a very bad day I offer to get in another Carer or leave so he can manage others expectations and his wants and I can look after what bub and I need.

It’s been a very bad week.

Because in my mind- and in  some others I’m meant to just cope when this bugger of a disease interferes withmy plans and thus their plans either for me, Big M or my children.

I’m fairly sure no one would tell an obstetrician they should have skipped the birth of one of their patients because it meant they and their partner who had to stay home for the kids missed a dinner party.

I can imagine the conversation:

“But couldn’t you have just ignored your pager? I checked you were coming three days ago and you said yes!. Surely you could just have just ignored her? And I can’t believe Matt didn’t turn up- toddlers are okay on their own”

 Ok – appalling example but thats because there isn’t one that matches.

There is nothing quite like the hell of being told what you can and cannot do by experiences you lived half a life ago that won’t leave you alone.

The irony of a disorder that makes you desperate for contact with people but then finding it impossible to cope with.

And then that people resent you for needing the supports you have put in place – it’s like that thing in primary school where everyone wanted a go on the crutches when someone sprained their ankle. Except no one gives them back when the bell rings.

I just wish everybody knew I’m doing the best that I can but that my absolute best will always always be reserved for my youngest, then the rest of my little lot.

I wish they could be understanding. Hell, I just wish they were okay with it.

And to anyone out there going through this- one person gets it. Just one voice but (trust me) better than none.

Which is why if nothing else came out of this week at least I found pins like this one :

And this one:

 And this one

which led to this post.
 So there, task complete.

Read on for some helpful info :